Most people assume that Kirkland Signature is basically a guaranteed win. It’s Costco’s in-house brand, it’s cheaper than the name-brand stuff, and the quality is supposedly just as good — sometimes better. That’s the story we all tell ourselves while loading up our carts. But here’s the thing: not every Kirkland product deserves that blind loyalty. Some of them are genuinely bad. And Costco shoppers, particularly the brutally honest ones on Reddit, have not been shy about calling them out.
The Cold Brew That Somehow Tastes Worse Than Hot Coffee Gone Wrong
Cold brew coffee is supposed to be smooth. That’s the whole point. The slow steeping process removes a lot of the bitterness and acidity you get from traditional brewing methods. It’s actually pretty hard to mess up, which makes Kirkland’s canned cold brew all the more baffling. Costco members have described it as bitter, burnt, sour, and — my personal favorite description — “dirty water.”
One Redditor went so far as to theorize that it isn’t even real cold brew, suggesting the coffee was heated in a vat somewhere and piped into cans. Whether or not that’s true, the reviews are remarkably consistent. People say it’s harsh and one-dimensional, the kind of thing you might tolerate with a heavy pour of milk but would never sip on its own. When every grocery store carries a dozen alternatives that cost about the same, there’s no good reason to gamble on this one.
And the Ethiopian whole bean coffee doesn’t fare much better, for the record. Sold in two-pound bags at around $49, some shoppers have complained about grassy, bitter flavors and a stale smell right out of the bag. For that price, you could buy from a quality roaster who actually knows what they’re doing with single-origin beans.
Kirkland Spiced Rum Is Barely Drinkable
You’d think a warehouse that sells excellent whiskey and surprisingly good wine could pull off a decent spiced rum. Nope. Kirkland’s attempt at a Captain Morgan competitor has been roasted online with a kind of fury usually reserved for parking disputes. One reviewer on the r/rum subreddit gave it a 2 out of 10 and described the taste as having “a bitter, medicinal quality.” The aroma? “Very strongly of vanilla, followed by a rubbery smell, like the smell of a worn-out rubber band.”
That over-the-top vanilla is likely there to mask the low-quality base spirit, but it doesn’t work. Multiple people have said it tastes like hand sanitizer mixed with Liquid Smoke. One disappointed drinker claimed they’d rather eat Costco’s Merino wool socks. Worse still, it apparently doesn’t even mix well with cola. When your budget rum can’t survive being drowned in Pepsi, you know something went sideways. Save your money, and honestly, save your dignity.
The Toilet Paper Isn’t What It Used to Be
This one stings because Kirkland toilet paper used to be a staple recommendation. It was soft enough, strong enough, and cheap enough to justify buying those massive packs. Then COVID happened. During the great toilet paper hoarding of 2020, something shifted — and according to a lot of shoppers, the quality never recovered. People say it’s thinner, rougher, and doesn’t dissolve properly. Plumbers have apparently called it one of the worst brands to buy.
“The quality went way down a few years ago during the great toilet paper hoarding of covid and never came back up,” one Redditor explained. “The only thing that went up is the price!” added another. It’s a product that shows up on nearly every “worst of Kirkland” list, and the complaints are consistent enough that they’re hard to dismiss. If you’re still buying it out of habit, it might be time to reconsider. Unless you’re TPing someone’s house. Then it’s perfect, honestly.
Batteries That Destroy What They’re Supposed to Power
On the flip side of products that just underperform, Kirkland batteries actively damage things. This is one of those items that pops up in every single Reddit thread about what not to buy at Costco, and the stories are remarkably similar. People report that the batteries leak — into remotes, clocks, flashlights, kids’ toys, you name it. One user shared that over nearly a decade, Kirkland batteries leaked without fail, regardless of size.
Another shopper said they gave up on both Kirkland and Duracell alkaline batteries after leaks destroyed electronics to the point where they simply stopped working. A cheap battery is only a deal if it doesn’t ruin the $40 gadget it’s sitting inside. The savings evaporate pretty quickly when you’re replacing a wireless mouse or a decent flashlight because of corrosive gunk leaking out of a AA cell. Spend a little more on a reliable brand. Your electronics will thank you.
Some Kirkland Foods Got Pulled From Shelves for Good Reason
Not every Kirkland failure just limps along on the shelf. Some products were so universally disliked that Costco actually pulled them. The boxed mac and cheese is probably the best example. Shoppers called it bland, starchy, and “weirdly off.” One person said their college roommate ruined a good pot making it. A cashier reportedly told a returning customer that “everyone thought it was horrible.” When the staff is acknowledging a product is bad during a return, that’s a pretty clear sign.
The Kirkland burnt ends didn’t get pulled, but they’ve been returned frequently enough to earn a reputation. Described as chewy, dry, and oddly flavorless despite being drenched in sauce, they’re a far cry from actual barbecue. One Redditor said, “I would sooner call a stack of McRibs authentic BBQ before I would ever suggest eating these.” The pepperoni frozen pizza has also drawn some harsh criticism, with shoppers calling it “terrible” and noting that the crust and overall flavor fall well short of competitors sitting on the same freezer shelf.
Then there’s the chicken pot pie. At about $20 for a single pie, you’d expect something decent. What you get, according to many members, is a sodium bomb with dry chicken, salty gravy, and what one person described as “the worst pie crust I’ve ever had in my life.” The organic marinara sauce hasn’t fared well either — reviewers consistently call it watered down and bland, which is a problem when you’re committing to a three-pack.
Protein Bars, Chicken Breasts, and the Texture Problem
While bad flavor is one thing, bad texture might be worse. It’s harder to fix, harder to ignore, and it tends to be the thing that turns a “meh” product into a “never again” product. Kirkland protein bars are a prime example. They pack 21 grams of protein and come in flavors like brownie and cookie dough, but the execution is rough. Shoppers call them dry, chalky, and brick-like. One person on the Costco subreddit claimed a bar actually chipped their tooth. That’s… not ideal for a snack.
Consistency is another issue. Some people say certain flavors are tolerable while others are inedible, and quality seems to vary from box to box. It’s a gamble every time you open one. The frozen thin-sliced chicken breasts have a similar problem — a “woody” or stringy texture that some shoppers have memorably dubbed “spaghetti chicken.” The fibers cook up tough and oddly firm, which kind of defeats the purpose of a quick weeknight dinner. Not every package is affected, but enough people have encountered it to make repeat purchases a risk.
The Non-Food Misses Are Just as Bad
Food gets most of the attention in these conversations, but Kirkland’s non-food products have their share of duds too. The scented trash bags are a notorious offender. They’re supposed to combine durability with a subtle lavender scent. Instead, they tear easily and smell aggressively artificial — worse than the garbage they’re meant to contain. “These things smell worse than the literal garbage they carry,” one customer wrote. “They fail at both of their jobs, and I hate them.” Hard to argue with that.
The laundry detergent and shampoo have drawn similar complaints. The detergent reportedly struggles with tough stains compared to leading brands, which is kind of the one thing you need laundry detergent to do. The shampoo and conditioner can leave hair feeling dry and rough, with some users reporting scalp irritation. Kirkland’s plastic wrap has also been called out for being less clingy and durable than competitors — a small annoyance that adds up when you’re wrapping leftovers every other night. Even the bakery cinnamon rolls, which look incredible in the display case, have let people down. “They make me feel like an anaconda choking down a beach towel,” one shopper wrote. At $12.99 a tray, that’s an expensive disappointment.
So where does this leave us? Kirkland Signature is still a strong brand overall — the olive oil is great, the rotisserie chickens are iconic, and plenty of their products genuinely outperform the competition. But the halo effect is real. People assume everything with that black-and-red label is a safe bet, and that’s just not the case. The smartest Costco shoppers know which Kirkland items to grab and which to walk past. And maybe the most surprising thing about this whole list is that Costco’s generous return policy exists partly because they know not everything they put out is a winner. They’re betting you’ll keep coming back anyway. And, well — they’re right.
